Tuesday, November 23, 2010

SUICIDE!!!

Hello again, well today i talked to my friend, and we talked about suicide and i told him i have had thoughts and everything and that i've cut my wrist!! Well he said he's had thoughts too and im not alone...so i said i told him if he ever started to cut his wrist i wont talk to him cause its a really bad habbit to get into! He also said if i ever killed myself he didnt think he could go on any longer...this kids in seventh grade and he looks up to me! I talk to this kid all the time and he never told me that he had those thoughts...and when he told me i started to cry a little bit just knowing my friend wants to kill himself it makes a big impact on me! I couldnt handle him being gone he's only in 7th grade i mean...i just was scared for him!!i dont want him to make the same mistakes i did...cause he knows what i've done wrong!! Everyday when we see each other we hug...and now i know each hug wont be the last cause i have someone that can relate to how i feel!! I can also relate to how he feels as well...!I'm really worried about him...this is not just one of my guy friends that lasts 1 whole day he's a lifetime friend i tell him alot!! I actually open up to this dude cause he understands!! I'm not going to tell anyone his name so please dont ask me cause i promised i wouldnt reveal him to the public!! Just know he's my friend:)

Monday, November 22, 2010

JESSE's my BESTEST friend:)

So there's this guy at school who's AMAZING, he's really shy but im trying to break that!!! I ask him how his day's going almost everyday! Well i try to, sometimes i dont really know what to talk about but just saying hi to him and him saying it back, makes me smile, he's a senior, and just had a birthday not to long ago!! But point is he's AMAZING!!! Wow, im finding out my life's getting a whole lot better:)!!!

Boy's, Boy's, Boy's!! OH DEAR:)

well okay so i have a boyfriend, but i dont quite think its working out and i cant tell him right now cause i wanna tell him in person, i wanna tell him why i dont think its working out...i'm not going to date anyone else till i make some standards for myself...like what i wanna see in a guy...so here's a list of things below!!!
QUIET
DOESNT CARE WHAT MY PARENTS DO FOR A LIVING (DADS A COP, MOM  INSURES CHURCHES)
GOES TO CHURCH (BELIEVES JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD!!)
EXCEPTS ME FOR ME
DOESNT CARE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS...
these are just some of the things i look for in a guy i have my eye on one but not quite sure yet i'll give it some time!! Along time right now i just need to focus on my school and family!!

Doctors

well today i have a doctors appointment that i dont really wanna go to but...oh well:|
i'm bored as heck my bub is watching a movie called nims island and i think im gonna post some pictures
on here...of how bored i am lol:) I just cant wait till thursday i'll get to eat lots of food, my favorite foods to eat on thanksgiving are turkey bread and gravy:P YUMMY!!!!
when im bored i put on makeup

when im bored i play dress up:)
today im not in school cause i got suspened for calling a teacher stupid but she lied and said i called her a stupid b****...its really dumb i know but i guess i'll live, i mean i can still get on my blog and stuff so i think i'll be okay for a while:D

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Miley Cyrus Song - When i look at you:)

When my world is fallen apart and there's no light to break up the dark,
thats when i look at you!
When the wave are flooding the shores and i cant find my way home anymore,
thats when i look at you!





I think these lyrics are saying something along the lines of this, when your lost and feel like your world really is falling apart well, talk to someone...cause i feel like my world is deffiantly falling apart sometimes but i just keep pushing through i am me and no one can change that except me...i go to a therapist every week and i talk to her about my prob;lems alot of the time except when my mom and dad are in the room then i just shut down i go into off mode!!! I dont know why but i do...so i guess since i do that i should start working on it so i dont do it anymore..!

My Poem

My name is Kealy
I am STRONG
I am COUAGEOUS
I am LOVED
I am LEARING
I am trying to be a SUCCESS
I am LIVING LIFE
I am FIGHTING A BATTLE
I am trying to FIT IN
I am not STUPID
I am STRESSED
I am DEPRESSED
I am MADE FUN OF
I am LAUGHED AT
I am not as PRETTY as them

I am only 15 years old
I am.......ME
This is my story,
When you look at me, I might seem normal, but if you were to ask me what i think of myself i would say,
When you look at my face i am DISTORTED
If you look at my WRIST i am CUT 12 times
If you would look at my heart its been shattered
If you look inside my mind I AM NO MORE
If you ask me if I'm okay I'll tell you
I've drank alcohol, I've done drugs, I've smoked a cigarette, I've hurt my family, so NO I'm not okay!!!